road dome

please. beautiful people. tell me your remember your first time. 
i was beyond wrecked for mine so i dont really. 
i just mostly remember thinking holy fuck this shit hurts and i passed out three times.
out cold. down for the count. looking back i wonder wtf is wrong with the guy who took my virginity. then i remember  he was a boy in high school. of course hes going to go for it. thats like they're specialty. 
but anyway. if your still a virgin heres a few tips that could help make the experience less of a shit show.
1. dont pretend to know what your doing. 
2. dont take copious amounts of oxy chased with weed.
3. dont be sober. thats just so much more painful and memorable.
4. dont pretend its special.... its not. at all. its just sex. virgin or not.
5. dont day drink prior..... the wetter the better. and being really dehydrated does not soothe the pain of a ripped vagina. 
6. lube cant hurt-it can only help.
7. use a condom.
8. smoke after
9. weed plus sex is great.
10. make sure the guys hot..... chances are youll vaguely remeber him for years to come. 
11. do it somewhere comfortable where you can make noise
12. foreplay is a virgin must. cannot stress enough the importance of being wet. 
i was dry as a bone because i couldnt feel anything with all the oxy in my system. and my god. 
my hair practically stood up and i screeched.
it was horrible. 
13. be skinny. you want to look hot.
14. dont try ten million new positions. take it easy. you have your whole life for reverse cowboy.
15. music!!! have something playing. the sounds are pretty horrifying for the first time.
16. there will be blood. if your an athlete like me then not much. but you could bleed a teensy bit. 
17. be shaved. 
18. experienced guys are the way to go. 
19. i fucked someone else after my vag recovered from losing my virginity... probaly three days.
it was actually genius. i didnt get attached at all. 
20. keep doing it till its fun.
21. do remeber its suppose to be fun and it will be. 
the second that vag is torn feel free to get wild. 
just be careful.
you are your own worst enemy in these situations.
practice makes purrfect my darlings.
and if you arent fucking yet.
its time to start. 
fuck waiting for the perfect man.
do it when your readyyy 
cos it gets realllyyy fun :)