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  • (225):
    
    I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
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  Thursday

  
  

  • (269):
    
    I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
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  Thursday

  (541):

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    I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
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  Thursday

  
  

  • the key to our hearts is to strategically ignore the fact that we’re hot shit and subtly insult us. Every betch knows the only thing hotter than a good actual fuck is a quality mind fuck.
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  2 seconds ago

  • (334):
    
    I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.